I Cried
by SpRiTZ-HaCKer
Summary: [COMPLETE] To all the ladies out there, this chapter is for you! [JULY 14th]
1. How It Started

I Cried  
  
I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Fuck him" I cursed. Duh, it's nothing new I don't do "Stupid Son of a Bitch" I kicked a nearby rock. I spotted Kai and Hillary talking. "Bitch and Bastard". I know you both can see me.  
  
"Ha-ha! Really? I can't believe you did that Kai! You're bad"  
  
"What? The girl had it coming, cheating behind my back"  
  
Yeah right! Fuck that shit you just said buddy. You're all wrong; I thought you and me could be buddies, friends for life but no. You had to go for the pretty one. She's smart, pretty ...just Hillary. I'm..just me. Rude, just not what your looking for and don't forget ugly.  
  
"You thought I was to think you were my friend!" I took a stick and scrape it across my hand. Slowly it puffed up. "Good. At least I'll something to cry about...but not in front of him" I looked across from me. Stupid Hillary flirting with that ignorant bastard.  
  
"I listened to your stories. Praised you. You were my role model" I whispered and continued to scrape myself, yay...it's actually looks worse. I looked up to the sky. One big cloud just blended in together...then there was a broken up cloud beside it. "That's me....and that's them"  
  
"Hey! Why aren't you guy talking with Amari? She looks pissed" Tyson pointed at me bouncing the basketball in his other hand. "Amari! Come, come talk talk!" Hillary yelled. "Shut up the fuck up" I said under my breath.  
  
"Come Amari" Kai said. I thought I would never hear those words from him. I would be squealing and hopping over. But not this time, fuck off Kai. I looked down. "I'm such idiot...I'm not jealous I can't be. The famous Kai himself 'he would never fall for a neighborhood girl'...he forgot to add 'especially you Amari' ".  
  
We had a great talk yesterday. It was fun I learned a lot from you and about you. I thought it could be like that all the time. Just you and me. We're exactly alike, you maybe me older but it doesn't make a difference. But i'm only a copy, I try being more like you. Laughing at people who don't like you, having no care in the world about what other people say. Wow I'd love to be in your shoes.  
  
"But no a bad boy always has to fall for the airhead" It's always like that. Everyday life, stories about the 'hottest guys', TV shows everything. But I guess I was cursed that way, to see these things. I was on the verge of tears. I scraped myself harder and it until I saw a bit of blood but that didn't stop...  
  
"Cheer up, Amari! Don't be pissed" My muscles...I think...tensed up a bit, as he shook my shoulders when he passed by. "Fuck you, bastard" I mentally wanted to beat him. But his touch was so soothing...I cried. My tears spilled, but he didn't see. Hillary walked up to me... "Hell no...she can't see me"  
  
"What's wrong Amari? Are you pissed?" Bitch go away.  
  
"Nothing" I got up fast and cover my hand, it stung. Oh well I'm the master of cleaning wounds since my arm are cover from them.  
  
"You sure? You can talk to me ya know" I don't want to talk to you; I want to talk to him. But it won't happen I realized it and he's only here to fuck up my life. I turned to Hillary and wanted to burn her with my eyes.  
  
Straight out said it.... "Fuck you"  
  
Hope you enjoyed it. Aren't I an idiot? This happened to me in my neighborhood. And No, Beyblade people weren't there. Enjoy my pain and I'll leave you with my quote:  
  
"Love's a Whore. So watch it doesn't fuck you up when you're not looking" 


	2. Dry Tears

Hacker: Tch, I guess the 2 reviewers kinda got me on a roll, sadly I'll update. Thanks 'Flaller and Shadow one'. Here's another boring chapter --  
  
Dry Tears  
  
"Hey Ty, wanna go for a walk?" I grabbed the leash for the closet...and nearly passed out. It stunk like feet as usual. My fat lil ol' doggy Ty jumped up and down. His big light brown shined.  
  
"Ya know? I'm so jealous of your eyes! But then again I'm jealous for the dumbest reason" I hooked him up to the leash and bolted out the door. I passed by the same 'garden'...heh stupid dead flowers, burn! Burn! Ahem anyways I saw Tyson and Max playing basketball.  
  
"Amari!" Tyson yelled out my name and waved. He always made me feel nice, backing me up when I needed. Max just waved and threw the ball. Nearby...I saw him. Bastard! I mean...Kai...yeah Kai. Sitting on his ass like a doorknob.  
  
"Amari!" I glanced and prayed it wasn't Kai saying my name. No...it was worst queen bitch was gracing me with her extra self. Great...  
  
"Hi, let's go walking! Move Ty!" What the hell did the dog do to you? Bitch. I buttered my most fucking cheesiest smile I could come up with. "Yeah, let's go"  
  
"Oh my yeah know what Ray did today at my locker?" Blah blah blah. Does it look like I care? Ray my enemy and yet you think you can just talk about him right in front of my like that? Bitch, you don't know me to well now don't you.  
  
After and while of 'yeah...' and 'oh yeah?' sarcastic I don't care hints I came back to my house and let Ty inside. Then I turned and Hillary was still there...damn I thought I lost you on the way. She smiled...can't be good.  
  
"Hey...Why'd you start crying yesterday?" That's it! Bitch is gonna it bad. I laughed...not my normal laughs. I went into my pocket...yes I touched cold metal. Perfect. I never let anyone see me cry, especially Hillary.  
  
"You want to know why? Heh...heh" I pulled out a pocket knife. Stainless steel, engraved with my name. Hillary backed away slowly. "You said you wanted to know!" I thrusted the knife forward. Bull's eye! Right where it hurts.  
  
"Amari..." Hillary had the knife in the chest, on the heart. Good. "Now..." I pulled out the knife and threw her skimpy tank top she started to bleed...red that's what I saw the day you took my twin away. I laughed. The best I could was laugh and clean my blade on the bottom shoe. "Amari...why?"  
  
"I cried...I cried because you and him broke my..."

"Holy Fuck!" I woke up...tears on my face. "Why? Why?!" I couldn't understand it. At first it started off normal but when I saw it. I looked over at my night table and saw my trusty pocket knife. I picked it up and with a flick of the wrist I saw the blade. Stainless...no blood.  
  
"It was just a dream...a fucking retarded dream!!" I threw the knife it landed on a nearby wall. "Burned bitch should burn the fucking depths of hell!" I winced...great I cut myself. I got up and grabbed some gaze. Yeah it was that bad. When I passed the mirror I laughed.  
  
"You wouldn't be that psycho" My reflection copied my every move. I grabbed my scissors and started snipping at my curly hair, brown locks fell forward.  
  
"Pointless just pointless" My long hair was now short...it suited me. Short hair with short temper. Good now... "I'm gonna be like him. 'Good' on the outside. But wrecked on the inside- ouch" My cheek bled. A cross, the holiest of marks was engraved in my left cheek.  
  
"Perfect"

And being like 'him' I meant like Rurouni Kenshin, that's how I see him. Good on the outside but wrecked on the inside.Oh yeah..the mark that's belongs to Rurouni Kenshin. No Beyblade people were here ethier.

Yeah I actually did that. Cut my hair that is. The rest no...but I would have. Anyways another quote of mine: "Listen...I came, I saw, I conquered. Because the world's my mission" 


	3. How Much Could It Hurt?

How Much Could It Hurt?  
  
Hacker: I guess so could say I'm a real bored person. To tell the truth I am. I don't really care if you review or not. And no, I'm not telling you this so you can feel sorry and leave a review. Hey! It's your fuckin damn opinion, oh well. I'm still writing....sadly. I just really don't know what to do with my fucking life these days. I write so I don't freak out on the dumb things I do.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade. I'm covering the identity of 'my village people' with Beyblade people.  
  
Hacker: Enjoy....or sumthin...never mind just read or flame I don't care.  
  
This is my everyday life in my point of view.  
  
I guess it started off as a normal day. No fucked up dreams, no tears, and no nothing. Ironic. I went outside since there was nowhere else to go. I saw Max, good no Kai. I kinda got over it. And Hillary just doesn't get me cheesed anymore. I was sort of happy my other friend, Jim, was outside. He's usually not out but hey its fun.  
  
"What are you wearing?" Max blinked. I looked out. Big deal, skirt and a long T-shirt.  
"Skirt and T-shirt? So?" He shook his head and went back to playing basketball.  
  
I think I scared him. I'm not the type of girl that would wear skirts, but fuck man it was hot. A few hours passed just watching Jim and Max play around. Then Hillary came out, we talked. Then....Ozuma came out. He usually doesn't come out.  
  
"Amari has nice legs, man" Ozuma cooed's. Great a complement, don't flatter me. After a while it got dark. My legs were burning me of course because Ozuma kept slapping them. I didn't care after a while.  
  
We were all in a lil group, just chillin'. Like normal kids...but what's that? Ozuma's cuddling up on my leg. "What are you doing?"  
  
His big eyes looked up at me "You have nice legs can't I lean on them?" I rolled my eyes, he cuddled closer. Great, I just ignored him. We started talking about Tyson. He's extra but nice Hillary says. He stinks Jim says. Max...blah blah Hillary...blah blah...Jim...blah blah. Me? I personally like Tyson. Not in that way tho. He's helped me a lot before.  
  
Next thing I knew I was stroking Ozuma's neck. 'What the FUCK am I doing??!!' I tried shaking off the feeling but it just took over. Damn hormones.  
  
Next Day:  
  
Me and Hillary are actually having fun. I bought some new shoes. We're fixing up the shoes laces. Red and White. She spots my labby. My laptop of course. She grins.  
  
"He liked it"  
  
I looked up "Liked what? And Who?" She waltzes over to my labby and signs into her MSN.  
  
"Ozuma. I saw you and him yesterday" She popped into a conversation with a familiar name. 'Ozuma'.  
  
I chucked my shoes aside and rolled my eyes. "Ok buddy, I'm only playing with him" She typed in the words I always feared.  
  
'Do u like Amari???' I freaked out inside. I couldn't show it outside, it just wasn't me.  
  
_ Ozuma is typing....  
  
Ozuma: not really _

_Ozuma: Just as a friend_  
  
Hillary clapped and squealed. Idiot. She continued typing.  
  
_Hillary: as a friend now just wait _

_Ozuma: just as a friend _

_Hillary: just wait _

_Ozuma: JUST AS A FRIEND!! _

_Hillary: ok then _

_Ozuma: Amari likes me rite?  
_  
Hillary turned and bopped her big head. I shook my head. "No! No! No! I don't" Hillary huffed.  
  
_Hillary: she doesn't know. _

_Ozuma: She does man  
_  
I secretly got up. I should have killed her like in my dream. I pulled the plug. Hillary spun around. I shrugged "Power out". We went outside then we saw him. FUCK. Ozuma. I kept my head up. Think positive, just do that.  
  
"Hi Ozuma!" He waved. I stayed quite. I couldn't say anything to him. I could tell in his eyes he didn't want to see me. So I walked away. Home. My little sanctuary, where I could never be hurt.  
  
Sad isn't it? That just sucks? I'm one stupid person. But I don't pity myself I try to stay positive. Here's the quote:

"Don't expect things from people"


	4. I'm Still Smiling

Hacker: Heh, I'm back. I got off my lazy ass, yeah I've had some down days that I didn't tell you about, but overall I'll sum it.  
  


* * *

I'm still smiling, through the jealous plot, misery...I'm still smiling. But through the cracks you still see a sad girl. To bring you up to date a lot of things happened.  
  
I stopped talking to Ozuma, there was nothing left for us to speak about. After he admitted he'd actually consider going out with me. I took it to through, and staked it out for him. Heh, for you ladies out there who are lovin' Ozuma take into consideration He doesn't like complicated girls. Ahem, me being one of them, we ended as crushes [I sorta liked him] to strangers.  
  
Oh I guessed you'd want to know what happened between me and Kai too, right? Well we went our separate ways, he found a sanctuary of older guys to hang with, namely Tala and Spencer. Spencer's kinda of weird thought, Tala just doesn't know me to well to ask me.  
  
**"Do you need a boyfriend? Cause you look miserable"  
**  
Hah, I told him that's not the only thing wrong with me. I don't need a boy to make me happy and neither should you. To all the ladies out there, happiness starts with you. Yeah, sounds corny and something off a Hallmark card but hell! It's only true, materials don't make people happy. If you think I'm wrong then so it is.  
  
Yeah, I didn't kill Hillary, yet. I've gotten along with her somewhat, she's okay. I guess she was meant to get all the attention from the boys. I'm happy for her, I keep smiling in front of her. I try not to let it bother me in many ways, I figure out what good it does me that only went to leaving to a dead end.  
  
But inside I'm dying, and you can tell by that. No I'm not those types of girls of walk around dressed in black and moping around or the preppy girls. I'm kinda normal [yeah right] in some ways. A close friend says ' I'm relaxed'. I believe her, I don't let her feel sorry for me, and it'll only bring her down.

* * *

Overall a shout out to all you ladies, don't make the same mistake I did. Don't try to fall for a guy like Kai, trust me you'll get now where. And if you do get him to fall for you, then good luck in your relationship. For the girls who are shy, don't' worry there's nothing to be ashamed, you're a somebody in this world and you'll be known for the sweet, innocent people you are. For the tomboy's and the rebels, don't try to be something your not [take it from me] if you really are and rebel than go for it! Live out your dreams just don't crush people to get there. You'll miss out on a lot.  
  
I'll leave with a quote, as always:  
  
"Conquer what you're going for. Don't let anyone, **especially a man**, tell you otherwise. Your special and be who you are, not what others want to see you as."**End  
**  
Hacker: There's nothing much to say. But later Read and Review 


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